Once in a while, I like to Google the net worth of celebrities and compare their worth with other rich, talented famous people. Yeah, the comparison is bad but you guys Beyonce is worth $400 million whereas Rihanna is worth $550 million. Who would have figured? I mean, I did because I'm all about Team Riri and was never a big fan of Beyonce but Beyonce is the "Queen" and the Queen is never trumped. It is the basic rule of Queenship. Since we are on the topic here is a list of the Top 9 richest celebrities according to Forbes in 2018:
George Lucas, $5.4 billion
Steven Spielberg, $3.7 billion
Oprah Winfrey, $2.8 billion
Michael Jordan, $1.7 billion
Kylie Jenner, $900 million
Jay-Z, $900 million
David Copperfield, $875 million
Diddy, $825 million
Tiger Woods and James Patterson, $800 million
Now that is covered, how much are you worth? If you were to place a price on yourself? How much would you give yourself? Would you place yourself on the same level as George Lucas or would you be with Lindsey Lohan who is worth $500,000? These celebrities' net worth is based on their actual income but we all have a worth that cannot be dictated by our properties. If it was up to that I would be below Lindsay Lohan haha. The thing about Beyonce is though she is a great musician, a philanthropist, a businesswoman and much more the greatest thing about her that people love is her character. The best investment she ever did was in herself, in her character, her reputation and her family. If Beyonce, became poor she will still be great because her parents have instilled in her a worth that no one can take.
So I ask again, how much are you worth?
The other night the strangest thought came to my mind. I started thinking about how I have to forgive myself, not my mom, not my dad and not even the people who hurt me. I had to forgive myself, Helene Nana Akua Berko. I have lived my life for the longest while based on experiences I had and words said to me. I thought if all these people left me then I must not be worth getting to know. So I would build up a wall around my heart and not let anyone in. If I have been told that I should be quiet and listen then I must have nothing worth listening to. I must be dumb. If he picked these girls over me multiple times then I guess I'm not beautiful. These are a few of the labels I have placed on myself, lived my life according to and have not even given the people I meet a chance to think otherwise. Because of this belief my behaviour started to change, I started selling myself short, literally.
By the time I reached college, I became the biggest flirt and sex became a treat to lure guys in. I would flirt my way into making friends and once the "friendship" became too personal and strings were being attached I would drop the friendship before anything ever happened. If you asked me, if I saw a future with any of these guys, my answer will be "Hell no!" (a reference to Maya Wilkes haha) but I wanted to have friends, I wanted to have people who cared about me and the only way I believed I can get that way if I promised them that they will get a hit at it. That night, I caught myself crying like a kid because the memories of everything I did so I can have someone to talk to when I felt lonely or have a friend to walk the hallways with made me ashamed of the girl I was. I thought so low of myself that I had to trick people into loving me without reciprocating the feeling.
How you think of yourself shows in the way you live your life. It is not always noticeable to the people around you but if you take time to assess your behaviours you will be able to answer the question "How Much Do I Think Am Worth?" The thing is that answer to that question is not the truth, it is not your true worth. Let me say it again, what you think you are worth is not how much you are actually worth. You, yes you are worth a lot more than you can ever think of and measure. So, the next time you decide to act on a negative label you have placed on yourself, please remember that that is not you. You are not what people have done to you, you are not what your parents or your friends have said to you.
As I laid on my bed that night, I forgave myself and decided to believe the best about me. I decided to stop chasing love from people who do not know the real me or stop begging for my rights but just live in my rights. That night, I decided that I was worth more than all the money in the world, I was worthy of getting to know and I wanted to work on myself because that is my biggest investment. It has not been a smooth journey since that night, but I'm still at it and I'm choosing to live a life where I am loved and happy. Something I have been telling myself lately is "[Insert name of someone who hurt you or left you] did not take my happiness with them because they are not my happiness."
Though it may feel like a simple phrase, I believe it is a powerful phrase. To me, when I speak that to myself it means that the people in my life do not add or subtract to who I am and my worth. If I think I am a great person it is not because of Greg, my mom, Katie or even my current boyfriend in my life but I am great because I am funny, smart, caring and have a great sense of fashion. We need to learn to live a life where the people in it are just characters in the background, the story will not change if they left or not because it is my story and it is your story, so own it.
Forgive Yourself.
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